Anna is a Bombshell or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Came to Love English Class

Enter Mike and Tommy. Teacher sitting at a desk. Tommy sits at a desk and puts on his ipod, Mike lies of the floor, Teacher continues to read the paper.

Tommy:[sigh] Another day, Another class
Mike:[eyes still closed] Nothing more nothing less and just more time to waste.
Tommy: But how much longer must we wait for it to end?

[Enter Lolita, Jane, Margaret]
Lolita: Did you guys finish the book?
Mike and Tommy: No
Jane: Lazy asses, I loved this book...Mike you would have loved it...it is your type of book.
Mike:[eyes still closed] Well then I will be sure to get on that...
Jane: Do you ever want to be anything other than an underachiever?
Mike: Can't see a circumstance where it would be a benefit.
Jane: You are useless… all that potential.

[Various other people enter, Bell Rings]
Teacher: Ok let’s start...Get your copy of...
[Enter Katharine]
Teacher: You're late Katharine
Katharine: No I can't be I was coming from math...
teacher: Well this is your 7th time, you have ah detention...
Katharine:[infuriated] No that is not fair I can't get a detention, I will ruin my reputation.. Besides I have two practices tomorrow it is simply out of the question
Teacher: Well I really don't care you are late, and you are interrupting my class.
Katharine: What class the bell just rang and besides mike is on the floor!
Mike: Bite me, I have a hang over and how is it that Jane can make it from our class on time but you can't? I wouldn't have to do with your ex-boyfriend being in the hall everyday would it?
Katharine: Shut up! And why don't you ever do anything, he says all these nasty things and you just let him!
Teacher: That's it you both have detention
Mike: Fine

Teacher: Now where were we?
Lolita: We were talking about the book.
Mike: Yes that would make sense, since this is an English class. dumbass
Margaret: Who do you think is cuter?
Jane: What?!?
Margaret: I mean who do you think is hotter...Who do you want to ram...Do you you want to screw?
Lolita: I would have sex with Levin

[Mike opens his eyes, stares at Margaret, shakes his head and gets in an empty desk next to Tommy]
Tommy:[To Mike] I can't believe we are having this conversation...
Mike: Really what's hard to believe we have this conversation every day...
Tommy: And everyday I can't believe it...It just is hard to believe that this is what passes for an English class sometimes.
Mike: That is the problem, this is our English class
Tommy: And what are ya gonna do?

[Tommy and Mike rejoin the conversation]
Margaret: I would totally have sex with Joe...I mean he is black and you know what they say abut black men.
Tommy:[To Mike] The saddest part is that they have higher grades than we do...
Mike: substantially...But that is because we haven't turned the paper in yet...What excuse are you using this time anyway?
Tommy: Washing machine broke, you?
Mike: Computer Crash
Tommy: Bastard that got you two extra weeks and no questions asked.
Mike: But the sad part is that I already have it finished I just don't want to turn it in.
[Mike and Tommy rejoin]
Jane: I can't believe that would said that...How can we possibly be discussing who is better to have sex with...With my parents aren't paying all this money to have these discussions!

Katharine: What did you guys think about Edna's suicide?
Lolita: I felt that it was wrong and that she took the easy way out...She should have take control of her life...I mean suicide is never right...I can't support any persons suicide, it is just selfish.
Tommy: Lolita, [Stares at her] You need to give up...you are never going to stop suicide as a whole...People are going to forever commit suicide, You Can't Stop It! Is it nobler to grow old and suffer with your problems till you die as a geezer or is it better to die with your problems as an adolescent.
Lolita:[tearing up] Clearly you have never had mental issues before...all the person want is a cure!
Mike: But what cure awaits the,! A pill that kills them on the inside or a gun that kills them on the outside? Either way part of you is dead!
Lolita:[Crying] I don’t have to take this!
Exit Lolita

Tommy:[To Mike] Good Job, now she is gone and I am going to have to get her.
Mike: What? Why?
Tommy: Because she is my girlfriend’s best friend and I have to apologize for your mistakes.
Mike: Well just so you know I am sorry that you have to deal with all that baggage.
Tommy: I know but for once you need to keep your mouth shut...not for me because I love the jokes and the sarcasm and the meanness...but for the rest of the world because they can not seem to deal with it...
Mike: But someone has to say something otherwise life is not worth living. This is my way of dealing with people, If I don’t say something I will go just as crazy as Lolita. If someone doesn't poke fun at society, then society will take itself to seriously. And then what will happen?
Tommy: Who knows but you have to be nicer to people it is destroying out class...
Mike: I am nice....
Tommy: No you aren't...that’s the third person you made cry this week, your ex's won't talk to you thanks to your tactics and you have an honor committee in an hour about that malicious, comical and fictitious article you wrote about Brian. My friend you need to change.
[bell rings]
Exit stage