Boob Tube
[Mike and Tommy sitting on a couch watching a tv]
Mike: why are we watching this thing? Its not like we even like the show that is on
Tommy: Ya but what else is there to do it’s a bout a million fucking degrees outside and I am not feeling any more Tony Hawk
Mike: Ya we have been playing that thing for 5 hours straight, what show are we even watching?
Tommy: I think this is the celebrity reality show but I am not sure since I don’t recognize any of these people
Mike: I that fat guy might have been the bassist in semisonic
Tommy: Who were they?
Mike: A 90’s one hit wonder…they had that song closing time?
Tommy: Oh yah…right well do you consider him a celebrity?
Mike: No not really but then again this station is fascinated with people that were once kinda celebirty’s anyway
Tommy: not like they got anyone interesting or even a celebrity
Mike: At least these commercials are sort interesting
Tommy; Not really we have seen this cleaning product commercial about a hundred times now
Mike: Is that what this commercial is for?
Tommy: Ya that’s what I think I mean you never actually figure out what it is for
Mike: I thought it was for a tech company with the dozen of dancing rabbits in a pastoral field
Tommy: What the fuck what part of that reminds you of technology
Mike: Nothing I just figured it would be the next mac commercial. We already had dancing people, now its time for dancing animals
Tommy: You really are an idiot of genius I haven’t decided which yet
Mike: I am betting on idiot savant
Tommy: See this is a useless commercial, why does porschea need to advertise. If you an afford a Porsche you now about…Its not like a millionaire is going to see it and go oh fuck where did that come from I have never heard of them before
Mike: Yah but if they don’t advertise how are we going to know that there is 2% interest rate on a 100K car
Tommy; That is very true but still why advirtise on a channel that is universially watched by slackers and stoners?
Mike: Maybe it will inspire someone in a post-grad school slump to go and get that medical degree that there mother is always talking about…that or it’s a way to manage the population…play this commercial at three in the morning after all the underachievers have been drinking and they realize there lifa has been a waste and go and attempt to drink themselves to death
Tommy: That is a terrible idea…mostly because I am sure we will know someone who will do that later in life…dude change the channel, I can not watch any more celebrity weight lose
Tv. Announcer: Police today caught suspects with the intent to spray paint thirity major city monuments and hand out communist paraphernalia. Police chief Assman says that this was a major victory for the anti-terrorism squad but fears that more criminals may still be out to graffiti our city’s monuments. Thus he ahs raised the threat level from purple to pink.
Mike: That is so stupid I am sure that they had been waiting on that information for months and waited till the mayors numbers to be low enough that this bullshit would boost his numbers. Actually I bet that there never even was a bust he just made it up to help hi image
Tommy: Maybe but the tatic certainly works my mom deffintiely loves the mayor when he accomplishes something like that. It makes her feel that the government is actually doing its job. Then again my mom likes it when she sees a Mexican being arrested and sitting on the curb. I wonder if that makes her a racist
Mike: In my book it does…but whateve everyone is a racist in some form
Tommy: Ya that is very true…ya know what I have noticed is that the supposed Christians are the most racist…Just look at the local church they have taken a firm stance against Gay Marriage, Immigration, and Anti-Poverty funding. So that means that they are against gays, Hispanics, and the poor. I bet they would shoot a gay poor Mexican on site.
Mike: Nay they would just try to convert him, which is way worse. I mean at least when he is gay poor and Mexican he has his own image instead of the image of a follower of some dead guy from a couple thousand years ago.
Tommy: Yah….ok change the channel I am sick of the news its always depressing. Put it on cartoon channel
Mike: Yah ok…Now that is just wrong why would tampax be advirtising on a kids channel? Its not like and 8 year old is gonna get her period. She doesn’t have to worry about bleeding for at least another 3 or 4 years
Tommy: I heard that Billys kid sister got her period and she is only 10
Mike: I doubt that…or at least I hope that its bot happening because she will be infiretile at 21if that is true
Tommy: Maybe they can freeze her eggs like they did for my mom’s friend
Mike: Oh that is fucked up I didn’t want to know that
Tommy: I could tell you so many fucked up things like that about my mom friend
Mike: I am really afraid to ask what they are
Tommy: Oh I can tell you anything you want to know ever about her…she is a drunk and when I get bored I go over to her house and drink with her and inevitably she tells me about shit…her first sexual encounter, what dick or pussy taste like, how it feels to be fucked up the ass, why she loves orgies, all sorts of fucked up shit
Mike: Wow that is truly horrifying.. you should take me next time you go over there
Tommy: Ok…ya know the weirdest one she ever told me about was when she got drunk in mexico and gave a mule a blow job for a ride home and a drink.
Mike: If we never talk about that again I would like it…Wow this commercial is like amateur porn
Tommy: Oh yah this is that next fast food commercial…where she rides the car and eventually orgasms on the hood…the out take has her stick her had down her bikini bottom and actually actl like she is gonna masterbate to the hot dog.
Mike: I can’t believe that they can show this on television. Imagine what woulda happen if they should a comerical like this 50 years ago
Tommy: My grandfather probably shot the television believing it was the devil taking over
Mike: I can imagine…whats really weird bout this Comerical is that the model is not a model or even really famous for any reason other than that she is from a famous family. Just look at her its not like hse is even that good looking She just seems to be famous because she has always been…and now she is able to manipulate her fame into commercials and bad television.
Tommy: Please she has done several movies and is now a boy scout badge…I was able to bang her thus I deserve a low level badge. I wonder what boy scouts was like?
Mike: I have to iagine that it was a lot like the Hitler youth in Germany… camping, hiking, fishing, Obeying Mien Fuher. You know all the basic brainwashing techniques that go into a soldier.
Tommy: I kinda want a burger after these commercials
Mike: Hoping that a whore willing get on your hoods and stroke herself to the fast food?
Tommy; Sadly yes
Mike: Wow that is pathetic
Tommy: I know that it will never happen but a man can dream can’t he
Mike: Ok Lets go I could eat anyway, maybe we can go hang out with your alcoholic milf
Tommy: Ya ok all we have to do is bring her twenty bucks ad she will deffintely let you drink. Fifty will get you a blow job
Mike: I don’t think that I am that desperate yet, but I will keep it in mind
Mike: why are we watching this thing? Its not like we even like the show that is on
Tommy: Ya but what else is there to do it’s a bout a million fucking degrees outside and I am not feeling any more Tony Hawk
Mike: Ya we have been playing that thing for 5 hours straight, what show are we even watching?
Tommy: I think this is the celebrity reality show but I am not sure since I don’t recognize any of these people
Mike: I that fat guy might have been the bassist in semisonic
Tommy: Who were they?
Mike: A 90’s one hit wonder…they had that song closing time?
Tommy: Oh yah…right well do you consider him a celebrity?
Mike: No not really but then again this station is fascinated with people that were once kinda celebirty’s anyway
Tommy: not like they got anyone interesting or even a celebrity
Mike: At least these commercials are sort interesting
Tommy; Not really we have seen this cleaning product commercial about a hundred times now
Mike: Is that what this commercial is for?
Tommy: Ya that’s what I think I mean you never actually figure out what it is for
Mike: I thought it was for a tech company with the dozen of dancing rabbits in a pastoral field
Tommy: What the fuck what part of that reminds you of technology
Mike: Nothing I just figured it would be the next mac commercial. We already had dancing people, now its time for dancing animals
Tommy: You really are an idiot of genius I haven’t decided which yet
Mike: I am betting on idiot savant
Tommy: See this is a useless commercial, why does porschea need to advertise. If you an afford a Porsche you now about…Its not like a millionaire is going to see it and go oh fuck where did that come from I have never heard of them before
Mike: Yah but if they don’t advertise how are we going to know that there is 2% interest rate on a 100K car
Tommy; That is very true but still why advirtise on a channel that is universially watched by slackers and stoners?
Mike: Maybe it will inspire someone in a post-grad school slump to go and get that medical degree that there mother is always talking about…that or it’s a way to manage the population…play this commercial at three in the morning after all the underachievers have been drinking and they realize there lifa has been a waste and go and attempt to drink themselves to death
Tommy: That is a terrible idea…mostly because I am sure we will know someone who will do that later in life…dude change the channel, I can not watch any more celebrity weight lose
Tv. Announcer: Police today caught suspects with the intent to spray paint thirity major city monuments and hand out communist paraphernalia. Police chief Assman says that this was a major victory for the anti-terrorism squad but fears that more criminals may still be out to graffiti our city’s monuments. Thus he ahs raised the threat level from purple to pink.
Mike: That is so stupid I am sure that they had been waiting on that information for months and waited till the mayors numbers to be low enough that this bullshit would boost his numbers. Actually I bet that there never even was a bust he just made it up to help hi image
Tommy: Maybe but the tatic certainly works my mom deffintiely loves the mayor when he accomplishes something like that. It makes her feel that the government is actually doing its job. Then again my mom likes it when she sees a Mexican being arrested and sitting on the curb. I wonder if that makes her a racist
Mike: In my book it does…but whateve everyone is a racist in some form
Tommy: Ya that is very true…ya know what I have noticed is that the supposed Christians are the most racist…Just look at the local church they have taken a firm stance against Gay Marriage, Immigration, and Anti-Poverty funding. So that means that they are against gays, Hispanics, and the poor. I bet they would shoot a gay poor Mexican on site.
Mike: Nay they would just try to convert him, which is way worse. I mean at least when he is gay poor and Mexican he has his own image instead of the image of a follower of some dead guy from a couple thousand years ago.
Tommy: Yah….ok change the channel I am sick of the news its always depressing. Put it on cartoon channel
Mike: Yah ok…Now that is just wrong why would tampax be advirtising on a kids channel? Its not like and 8 year old is gonna get her period. She doesn’t have to worry about bleeding for at least another 3 or 4 years
Tommy: I heard that Billys kid sister got her period and she is only 10
Mike: I doubt that…or at least I hope that its bot happening because she will be infiretile at 21if that is true
Tommy: Maybe they can freeze her eggs like they did for my mom’s friend
Mike: Oh that is fucked up I didn’t want to know that
Tommy: I could tell you so many fucked up things like that about my mom friend
Mike: I am really afraid to ask what they are
Tommy: Oh I can tell you anything you want to know ever about her…she is a drunk and when I get bored I go over to her house and drink with her and inevitably she tells me about shit…her first sexual encounter, what dick or pussy taste like, how it feels to be fucked up the ass, why she loves orgies, all sorts of fucked up shit
Mike: Wow that is truly horrifying.. you should take me next time you go over there
Tommy: Ok…ya know the weirdest one she ever told me about was when she got drunk in mexico and gave a mule a blow job for a ride home and a drink.
Mike: If we never talk about that again I would like it…Wow this commercial is like amateur porn
Tommy: Oh yah this is that next fast food commercial…where she rides the car and eventually orgasms on the hood…the out take has her stick her had down her bikini bottom and actually actl like she is gonna masterbate to the hot dog.
Mike: I can’t believe that they can show this on television. Imagine what woulda happen if they should a comerical like this 50 years ago
Tommy: My grandfather probably shot the television believing it was the devil taking over
Mike: I can imagine…whats really weird bout this Comerical is that the model is not a model or even really famous for any reason other than that she is from a famous family. Just look at her its not like hse is even that good looking She just seems to be famous because she has always been…and now she is able to manipulate her fame into commercials and bad television.
Tommy: Please she has done several movies and is now a boy scout badge…I was able to bang her thus I deserve a low level badge. I wonder what boy scouts was like?
Mike: I have to iagine that it was a lot like the Hitler youth in Germany… camping, hiking, fishing, Obeying Mien Fuher. You know all the basic brainwashing techniques that go into a soldier.
Tommy: I kinda want a burger after these commercials
Mike: Hoping that a whore willing get on your hoods and stroke herself to the fast food?
Tommy; Sadly yes
Mike: Wow that is pathetic
Tommy: I know that it will never happen but a man can dream can’t he
Mike: Ok Lets go I could eat anyway, maybe we can go hang out with your alcoholic milf
Tommy: Ya ok all we have to do is bring her twenty bucks ad she will deffintely let you drink. Fifty will get you a blow job
Mike: I don’t think that I am that desperate yet, but I will keep it in mind
posted by Brian | 6:38 PM
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