A Sophomoric Production

Set in St. Thomas High School in Santa Monica, Florida, A Sophomoric Production is the description of accumulated high school experiences of Mike, Jennifer, Cameron, Jane, London, and the rest of their friends. This is what happens when the OC is written by someone who lives in the OC.

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Location: Boston, Ma, United States

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Bored Kids: Return of the Village of the Dim

[Eating at a Shitty Fast Food Place at Night]

Mike: Ya know what show I really like, It's Always Sunny In Philidephia
Peter: Utter hatred of Danny devito has kept me from that show...I mean he is so short and bald that I actually have the urge to kill when I see him
Mike: Ya I hate him as well but he actually plays a very minimal role in the show, which is why I can stand to watch it. Really the show is just an explicit version of Sienfeld
Peter: Maybe I will want to watch it then, any hot chicks in the show?
Mike: No not really just this guys sister who isn't that hot...What the fuck is that?
Ethan: Kids meal...I am going broke and besides you guys always get me the fucking kids menu
Peter: This is a glorious day that you finally bought the kids meal on your own with out us making you
Ethan: Ya this is what I consider glorious
Mike: So what is the special toy?
Ethan: Looks like a thunder cat
Peter: I fucking hate the thundecats
Ethan: Why because they were a poorly made pathetic 80's cartoon used to manipulate the youth of America?
Peter: No because they are douche bags and they wear a fucking one piece that exposes there bulge at all times
Mike: And its obvious that the animators clearly have a hard on for interspecies erotica because no animal short of a horse or mule can have a cock that large
Peter: You know what would be an awful way to die is by having your legs rip off by a gorilla, then being rammed by a rhino, and then finally being eaten by a hippo
Ethan: Ya that would pretty much suck
Mike: How the fuck did you come up with that combo?
Peter: The posters on the walls of all the different animals
Ethan: You forgot too include the duck...Maybe he could be pecked to death
Mike: I wonder if they could deep fry an adult male great white shark for me
Peter: Not a chance
Ethan: Ya no way they do not possibly have a deep frier that could possibly be large enough to deep fry something that large...That is a fucking band aid in my food
Mike: What do you expect from a bunch of border jumper?
Peter: Yah they should go back to their own fucking country
Mike: Ya know what I want to do is put a cherry bomb in the toilet here
Ethan: What the fuck would you do that for?
mike: To fuck with assholes that work here and its just funny
Ethan: That is a utterly dck thing to do...Its brilliant...You magnificent bastard I salute you
Peter: I wonder how often cavemen used to masturbate?
Mike: What the fuck?
Peter: I mean they must have done it all the time they had nothing better to do than stroke it right?
Ethan: Well besides for finding food, shelter and warmth they had nothin to do but masturbate your right

[Enter two Goth kids]
Mike: Yes the zipper crew is here
Peter: I fucken hate those kids...With there baggy zipper pants and pale faces and fucking make up
Mike: Ya they are ruining metal...I mean they were probably everywhere at ozzfest...Just the idea of seeing all those kids ruined the possibility of the concert for me
Peter: But there was Dragonforce, no matter what there was at least Dragonforce
Mike: Ya but it would be like dragonforce and then we wouldn't want to see all those other shitty bands, like Children of Bodom
Mike: Ya know whatever happened to good metal like journey or Reo Speedwagon...With the tambourine and keyboards
[Exit Goth kids]
Mike: I want to watch Evil Dead right now, which reminds me why haven't we made our movie?
Peter: because Lord Bruce hasn't responded yet
Ethan: Does Bruce Campbell still have that restraining order on you?
Mike: Yes but that will all be over when we see him at Comicon tomorrow, can your brother still drive us?
Ethan: Ya I think so, he hasn't given me a reason that he can't drive, so we will force him to...Have you finished the script for our movie?
Peter: Ah who needs to actually write scipt we can just film it
Mike: I now have a beaver genetically added to my arm
Ethan: Well that will certainly guarantee the movie will be a success or a total failure
Peter: And in the movie we have added a scene were Carson will be shirtless and doing S&M
Mike: Best part is that we don't even have to buy any leather items I am sure he has it all
Peter: He just wants a chance to be on camera without his shirt on
[Exit restaurant...Next shot of them walking an empty store parking lot]
Peter: I want to open a store that is nothing but Lampshades I think it has a real potential...I mean how often have you wanted a special lampshade and the fucking store didn't have the design you wanted
Mike: Never...And this is the reason you can't get a date...You are fucking wired
Peter: Hey I had a date with Cameron it just that she went to Las Vegas
Ethan: yah a fucking month ago...do you honestly believe that she is still there?
Peter: No and I have moved on...its just that I have continued to be rejected
Ethan: Well just keep playing the odd after all you know that if you ask out 1000 girls at least 1 of them will say yes and so its all about odds and then when they do reject you...you just move on to the next girl...no matter how much it hurts
Mike: Listen to the man he has been rejected more than the rest of us combined
Ethan: Hey fuck you asshole...at least I have kissed a girl...That's not my mom
Peter: He has a point all right tomorrow I am going to find a new girl...But tonight I have to go...See yall tomorrow
Ethan: yah see yah peter
Mike: Later Peter
[Peter gets in the car and the camera watches the car pull away and then goes to credits]